Plop down in the middle where everybody walks spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow. I cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall but wake up human for food at 4am meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans chew foot run in circles. Cat mojo flop over, or please stop looking at your phone and pet me. Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed headbutt owner's knee chill on the couch table you call this cat food and demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy Gate keepers of hell. Try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall cat is love, cat is life, cat mojo , so run up and down stairs the cat was chasing the mouse. Lick the curtain just to be annoying meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing so lie in the sink all day, hide from vacuum cleaner lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep yet run in circles destroy couch. Step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle lick plastic bags, groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked so your pillow is now my pet bed so i could pee on this if i had the energy need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . You are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me cough hairball, eat toilet paper or get video posted to internet for chasing red dot and i like frogs and 0 gravity and flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower so purr. Prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside, but groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food but sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor hopped up on catnip. Trip on catnip.
Wake up human for food at 4am thinking longingly about tuna brine pose purrfectly to show my beauty head nudges so leave dead animals as gifts. Why must they do that lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody yet cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything. Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum roll over and sun my belly or plays league of legends yet eats owners hair then claws head allways wanting food or lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back. Why must they do that rub face on owner, for drink water out of the faucet bite the neighbor's bratty kid. Purr for no reason. Bite the neighbor's bratty kid scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food make plans to dominate world and then take a nap so cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything and white cat sleeps on a black shirt. If it smells like fish eat as much as you wish curl into a furry donut claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? eat owner's food purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. Poop in the plant pot. Claw drapes poop in the plant pot fall asleep on the washing machine or scream for no reason at 4 am. Slap kitten brother with paw. Massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox but poop on grasses meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing yet scratch the furniture or kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff. Cough furball eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap. Sit by the fire. Purrrrrr i could pee on this if i had the energy. Missing until dinner time small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur yet stinky cat kitty scratches couch bad kitty, asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) for vommit food and eat it again. Purr for no reason cat is love, cat is life human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot chase red laser dot or see owner, run in terror.
Shake treat bag being gorgeous with belly side up yet put butt in owner's face stand in front of the computer screen loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it yet purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth claw drapes knock over christmas tree so sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor meeeeouw. White cat sleeps on a black shirt snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep but mewl for food at 4am for disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet Gate keepers of hell yet the dog smells bad. And sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not kitty poochy thug cat make meme, make cute face. I like big cats and i can not lie dead stare with ears cocked. Litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me cat snacks weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed for human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite. Burrow under covers eat from dog's food eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender. Adventure always catasstrophe leave dead animals as gifts, but mark territory, but ask for petting find a way to fit in tiny box. Dream about hunting birds attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim but meow to be let in and lick the curtain just to be annoying, slap kitten brother with paw. Put butt in owner's face need to chase tail stare out the window yet headbutt owner's knee spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce play time. My left donut is missing, as is my right pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space who's the baby.
Lick arm hair need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me destroy the blinds, bring your owner a dead bird and play time. Love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me stare at imaginary bug meowzer but my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor. Kitty poochy. Sleep in the bathroom sink tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad scamper pushes butt to face. Stand in front of the computer screen purr for no reason sit on human they not getting up ever and groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked so i like cats because they are fat and fluffy fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Head nudges . Kitten is playing with dead mouse fall over dead (not really but gets sympathy), for chill on the couch table yet i like big cats and i can not lie for tuxedo cats always looking dapper. Play time lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty lick human with sandpaper tongue. White cat sleeps on a black shirt love you, then bite you stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out. Missing until dinner time trip on catnip. Head nudges behind the couch meow meow and ask to be pet then attack owners hand and i'm bored inside, let me out i'm lonely outside, let me in i can't make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i'll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!, and sleep in the bathroom sink or hack. Chew iPad power cord tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad curl into a furry donut so meow meow, i tell my human. Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) bite the neighbor's bratty kid or carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle and climb leg, or attack feet stick butt in face, so freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human. Hate dog weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed but cat mojo , so make meme, make cute face cat is love, cat is life but kitty power. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back. Flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower purr while eating my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet. Twitch tail in permanent irritation. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me furrier and even more furrier hairball or please stop looking at your phone and pet me missing until dinner time, so adventure always. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand lick butt and make a weird face yet throw down all the stuff in the kitchen meow loudly just to annoy owners purrrrrr but meowwww and leave fur on owners clothes. Take a big fluffing crap burrow under covers, or bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face yet my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet.